寒假备考之2013写作专题三 词语的重现技巧

2019-09-30 09:48:29

词语的重现技巧
重现与替代
任何一篇文章都围绕某个中心展开,这个体现中心的词叫关键词。经常作者要不断重复关键词使文章连贯,例如:
Early this term we did a survey among the senior middle school students concerning their usage of mobile phones. The survey shows that eighty-seven percent of them have a mobile phone. The survey also shows that the majority of the owners use mobile phones to make phone calls. However, while more girls use their mobile phones to send text messages, more boys play games on their mobile phones. I seldom play games on my mobile phone because it wastes a lot of time.
这篇文章中“mobile phone”一共重现了6次,一篇文章关键词往往需要多次重复,显得有些罗嗦。人们就想出了替代的方法,那么上面的文章改为:
Early this term we did a survey among the senior middle school students concerning their usage of 1mobile phones. The survey shows that eighty-seven percent of them have such a 2convenient machine. The survey also shows that the majority of the owners use 3them to make phone calls. However, while more girls use 4them to send text messages, more boys play games on their 5phones. I seldom play games on my 6mobile phone because it wastes a lot of time.
文章中替代的情况如下:

序号

关键词

替代的类型

1

mobile phones

关键词完整出现

2

convenient machine

上义词machine替代下义词mobile phone避免了重复。

3

them

代词them替代名词mobile phones避免了单调。

4

them

代词them替代名词mobile phones避免了单调。

5

phones

mobile phone省略为phone避免了罗嗦。

6

mobile phone

关键词完整出现

结论

可以使用上义词、代词、省略等等方法不断重现关键词。

结论可以使用上义词、代词、省略等等方法不断重现关键词。
二、分析下面文章的词语的重现技巧
Late in the afternoon, ①the boys put up their tent in the middle of a field. As soon as ②this was done, ①they cooked a meal over an open fire. ①They were all hungry and the food smelled good. After a wonderful meal, ①they told stories and sang songs by the campfire. But some time later it began to rain. ①The boys felt tired so ①they put out the fire and crept into their ③tent. Their ④sleeping bags were warm and comfortable, so ①they all slept soundly. In the middle of the night, ①two boys woke up and began shouting. ③The tent was full of ⑤water! ①They all leapt out of their ④sleeping bags and hurried outside. ⑤It was raining heavily and ①they found that ⑤a stream had formed in the ⑥field. ⑤The stream wound its way across the ⑥field and then flowed right under their ③tent!
参考译文
傍晚时分, 孩子们在田野中央搭起了帐篷。这件事刚刚做完, 他们就在篝火上烧起了饭。 他们全都饿了, 饭菜散发出阵阵香味。他们美美地吃了一顿饭后, 就围在营火旁讲起了故事, 唱起了歌。 但过了一阵子,天下起雨来, 于是他们扑灭了篝火, 钻进了帐篷。睡袋既暖和又舒服,所以, 他们都睡得很香。午夜前后, 有两个孩子醒了, 大声叫了起来。原来帐篷里到处都是水! 他们全都跳出睡袋, 跑到外面。雨下得很大, 他们发现地上已经形成了一条小溪。那小溪弯弯曲曲穿过田野, 然后正好从他们的帐篷底下流过去。